My heart is heavy today. It is that familiar hitch in my chest, that pain that reminds me that you are gone and that no matter how much time passes I can never see you again. Three years and I have felt every day like a splinter under my skin. It digs in a little deeper today and I do not understand how I feel like I have gone an eternity without seeing you and yet at the same time it feels like just yesterday. I do not understand. Not a bit. Because you were too good. You were such a good friend, so loyal and caring. You deserved this life, you deserved to grow old and be happy. This is not fair. You should be here right now. I shouldn’t have to carry you in my heart. I should be able to see that smile glowing from underneath that orange beanie. I should be able to wrap my arms around you and tell you I love you. But I can’t. You’re gone. And that will never be okay.
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